i can’t wait

to live in an apartment that wasn’t previously owned by a cracked out prostitute that is owned by a landcreep that is bug infested and cold and has nicotine melting off of the walls and makes scary noises at night by my window so i can’t sleep and is small and has shitty locks and there’s been 5 break ins in my neighborhood and there’s no back porch light and he won’t fix anything and the back door was installed backwards so it slams open and shut open and shut until i tie a piece of string to it and run it under the door but it still manages to keep me awake and the smoke alarms that he “installed” won’t stop going off so you have to take the batteries out and the pilot light shuts off and the door breaks your roommates key in half and DID I MENTION THAT I CAN’T SLEEP and that two ‘clients’ of the previous tenant came knockin the same day looking for cheap/free drugs/sex and it was 5pm on a thursday what the hell did she post a groupon for it? and that doesn’t have creatures/ghosts living in the air conditioning unit and that the air conditioning unit doesn’t fall out of the window like mine did. 

but the balcony sure is nice….